Living With Goodbye

For the past few years, it seems as though my life has been filled with goodbyes. Six months ago I was saying goodbye to my childhood dog of 15 ½ years (and yes, when they get that old you do start counting ½ years!) One year ago it was a dear friend who died suddenly, within 24 hours of being rushed to the hospital. Two years ago it was my WWII great-grandpa who passed on.  To this day, anytime I smell vanilla I think of great-grandpa- sitting in his big chair, smoking that old-fashioned pipe of his, making jokes and basking in the love of all the grandkids and great-grandkids. And I wish he were here so I can hear him chuckle again. 

These are forever goodbyes. The memories bring tears when you don’t expect them to. They hurt- oh, how deep they hurt- but you know that no amount of crying will bring them back. The Almighty has decided, He has acted, and His will was done.

But how do you live with goodbyes?

The cousin you haven’t seen in over ten years, stationed in some remote place half way across the world, fighting for our freedom?

The brother-in-law deployed for months on end to defend our country at a moment’s call, left in the thick of the battle?

The friend slipping away to the desires of the world, unwilling to listen to truth?

The brother with cancer, battling for his life, laying in a hospital bed with toxic orange fluid dripping into his chest?

I don’t know the future. The Almighty is working, truly He is, but at times His Hand is hidden from view. We are all living goodbyes, never really knowing when that precious life we love will be taken for the Father’s glory. Perhaps I’m being morbid, perhaps this subject is too delicate a topic to be handled by my clumsy thoughts. However, sometimes I think the living goodbyes are harder than the forever ones. As you’re praying on your knees, tears streaming down your face, arms spread open in a desperate plea for God to work on behalf of these loved ones…the pain is deep there.

But so is the comfort. 

In the agonizing prayer from the closed and inner room of the heart comes the peace that surpasses all understanding. God’s there. He’s real. He’s here.

He knows what’s best. He’s holding our lives in His Hands. He is the God of the impossible miracles. 

Trusting Him is the only way how to live with goodbyes.