Singleness Series // Part Two // Life with Purpose

I have a sinking feeling that I'm going to step on some toes here- but I pray this is read how it was intended: sharing my heart after much prayer and with the longing to help other single women as they find their way in this season. Read on with a sincere and soft heart, yes?

Thanks. 

So, you're single.

What are you supposed to do?

With so many different opinions, demands, and theologies, it can get overwhelming and confusing. Who do you listen to, and what choices do you make?

Man's opinion does not rule- God's does. 

Go by Scriptural examples. Study out the character traits of the women of the Bible, and how they spent their lives. A common thread throughout them all is that God used them and wove their stories into the fabric of destiny bringing forth His plan of Salvation. As we read their stories- no matter how long or short their accounts were, we view their lives as making a difference. 

Yet I'm sure, in the middle of it, they couldn't tell what was so special about them. Couldn't feel the Divine plan or power. 

Nevertheless, God used them in extraordinary ways- and whether they knew His scheme for mankind or not, I can tell you the common thread that holds this cloth together:

They lived with purpose. 

These single years are not to waste your time by. They are not to be complained over, or spent idly. They are not to be spent working a 9-5 job with no reason other than the opportunity arose so you took it. They are not to be spent investing so much in yourself and a world that revolves around you that you are unable to invest in others. They are not to be spent wishing for a new season, or the next big thing, or planning your imaginary wedding. They are not to be spent pitying yourself because your life isn't like so-and-so, or fostering the pity of others. 

Life is so much more than that. 

These years are a gift given for a purpose by the Hand of God. Everything you touch, everything you plan, should be seen through Kingdom lenses. Once you view everything with purpose, with passion, with eyes for the Kingdom, there is little free time left because there's so many possibilities and not enough time. 

You have been given an incredible gift and opportunity. 

God has you here as a single woman because you are more effective for the Kingdom as such. He has you here, with the time you have, to reach out to others. He wants you to minister to the lost and the lonely, to pour into your friends and family. He wants you to serve and to sing, to rejoice in His love and to love others because of your love for Him. He wants you to give and to not take for granted the life He's given or to scorn the plan He has. 

Don't let this season slip on by. 

I understand, everyone's situation is different. But if you have a choice, choose the one that makes a difference for the Kingdom. Don't spend these years building your own kingdom, feeding your selfish desires. Don't spend these years with mindless schedules, running the American rat-race because you couldn't think of anything better to do. Don't rush through to get to the next season, numb to the beauty that is around you today. 

Make a difference- a true difference- with purpose and intention. 

I hope you take your younger friends out for coffee and listen to their dreams and heart. I hope you spend time laughing around the dinner table with your family and being connected to their lives. I hope you sit down and write letters to those who are lonely, and that you take a meal to your neighbor. I hope you nanny for a family in your congregation and that you pursue entrepreneurial endeavors that are in tune with your passions. I hope you lose yourself in prayer and studying Scripture for hours. I hope you meet the needs of others and work with eager hands. I hope you have eyes for the Kingdom and see opportunities everywhere. 

I hope you live fully alive- thriving and overflowing with the joy of the Lord. 

Make your choices with purpose, with passion. 

If this was your last year to be single- how would you spend it? 

Have no regrets- and may He say of you, "Well done, good and faithful servant."

Singleness Series // Part One // Made for More than Typical

Last week, a friend asked for my thoughts on being single- specifically, what should she be doing with the extra time she has. It's a heavy question that all single young women ask, and if you're like me, you probably receive a multitude of answers in a very wide range of beliefs.

It makes the uncomplicated...complicated. 

Some say get a job. Other say date around. The ultra conservative ones say you should stay home and bake all day, and you should never look at or speak to a guy. The fence-sitters say get a local job and just put your toes in both worlds to feel out your beliefs.

If we're honest, everyone's advice (along with their mother's) is just not helpful. 

So when my friend asks this question, so many things run through my mind. There's so many different answers I could give, politically correct ones and those that are not, but truly the only one I want to give is the one I speak from my heart.

I get her- because I'm right where she is, too. 

I hear everyone's advice and input as they clamor to be right. I know what it's like to be the last one left at home, without little siblings to look after. I know what it's like to be an age far older than you thought you'd be while still unmarried. I've felt the shame people place on my shoulders along with- the worst of all- pity.

I have no reason to be pitied- and neither do you. 

Your life doesn't start once you say "I do"- it started the day you were born, the day God wove within your soul grand adventures and plans for you to fulfill. It pulses with the talents and gifts He's given you, just waiting to be tapped into to color your world and bless those around you.

If we're honest, we all wonder why He has us still here as single women. We wonder why it's taken so long, why our well-laid out plans lie crumpled on the floor. It seems He's testing the strength of our starch- whether or not we'll still stand tall. Unfortunately, some don't- they lose hope and succumb to being numb, living a typical American life, void of passion.

You were not made to succumb to typical. 

Let me tell you- the reason you are single is not because God is "still working on your husband".

(Can I pause here and say how much I can't stand that phrase?! Like, really- is my husband some caveman heathen? Because it shouldn't take this long, and that's just a really dismal thought!)

(okay, thank you for that release of steam- now back to original train of thought)

You are not single because of circumstances outside your control or because you are not refined enough. You are not single because your husband hasn't showed up on the scene or- God forbid- he truly is a heathen.

The reason is because you are more effective for the Kingdom in this season as a single woman. 

The reason is because God wants to bless you for your good in this season.

He is not withholding better things down the road- He truly has blessing for you. 

I want to tell you how to seize these moments, to embrace these blessings, to savor these opportunities. I want to tell you how I've found joy and purpose and passion where God has me- and how you can have the same, too.

There are so many things I want to share, so many things on my heart. I hope you stick around for a little series as I share my thoughts over the next few weeks- and I pray it sheds more light on your path, giving you great ideas and honing your vision. Stay tuned!