Dear Beautiful Creative Soul // Use Them Fearlessly

Dear Beautiful Creative Soul-

You are an amazing creative, a vessel that holds incredible talents. 

Don't ever let shame keep you from creating. From sharing your gifts with the world. From presenting your offerings to the eyes of others.

Don't let shame keep you from being happy with what you're hands have made. 

We live in a world that's overstimulated. There's images and goals and posters of what the perfect project must be. We live in a world that's curated and edited and glossy. We read blogs with perfect presentations, Pinterest with projects that never seem to have the same results when we attempt them, and Instagram where no one has a bad hair day.

It's a lot of pressure. A high bar, where looking up suffocates you from all joy and potential.  

I should know. For years I was ashamed to call myself a writer. A seamstress. An artist. My work seemed so incomplete and imperfect compared to others who held a standard far above my reach. I allowed shame to keep me in the dark, chained to doodling and writing and creating in my room, away from others' eyes.

To hide your God-given talents is to hide your light under a basket. 

The desires and abilities He has given to your soul were given for all the world to see. They were gifts made to shine for His glory, to come alongside the Creator in embellishing His already magnificent creation.

Your gifts are an invitation to co-create with the Creator- and there is nothing you do that doesn't delight His heart. You are all together beautiful. Worthy. Loved. Amazing. 

Here's the truth- imperfections are beautiful. After all, God delights to take broken things and make something so much better from the pieces. Perfection ends the journey, so embrace those imperfect moments that you can learn from and create character with.

Let fear, perfection, and shame fall into the depths of the sea. 

I get it, that it's a battle. There's highs and lows, times where it's easy and times where you feel the shackles chafe around your wrists. This week, a friend asked me to paint a custom art piece for her, and as I read her text, my fingers tingled with utter awe and excitement. I'd never done anything like this before. No one had ever asked before.

She saw something worthy. 

For the first time in my life, I wasn't terrified of messing up. I did it freehand and didn't sweat the imperfections. Each stroke of the brush brought joy to my heart. I stood back and smiled, happy with how far I'd come.

And then I saw Instagram. 

I saw artwork that rivaled Pinterest, where everything was alined and the text was flawless. It may as well been designed on the computer, without a single smudge or wayward stroke. I looked from the screen, back to my now-pathetic-looking piece.

So far from perfection. 

My shoulders slumped a little, discouraged that right as I was feeling a victory I should get slammed with another round of missing the mark of excellence.

We have to remember- Comparison is coveting, and it's breaking the 10th Commandment. 

If we kept that in mind, how much more free would we feel? No one creates like you do. No one can tell your story from your unique perspective like you can. You are beautifully you in every area- don't let comparison lock the shackles of shame on your soul.

Please, don't hide any longer. 

Share your story loud, paint it with all your favorite colors. Unlock your heart to share what it has to offer with boldness and grace. Decorate your world like only you can.

God has given you gifts- and they weren't on accident.

Use them fearlessly. 

Singleness Series // Part Two // Life with Purpose

I have a sinking feeling that I'm going to step on some toes here- but I pray this is read how it was intended: sharing my heart after much prayer and with the longing to help other single women as they find their way in this season. Read on with a sincere and soft heart, yes?

Thanks. 

So, you're single.

What are you supposed to do?

With so many different opinions, demands, and theologies, it can get overwhelming and confusing. Who do you listen to, and what choices do you make?

Man's opinion does not rule- God's does. 

Go by Scriptural examples. Study out the character traits of the women of the Bible, and how they spent their lives. A common thread throughout them all is that God used them and wove their stories into the fabric of destiny bringing forth His plan of Salvation. As we read their stories- no matter how long or short their accounts were, we view their lives as making a difference. 

Yet I'm sure, in the middle of it, they couldn't tell what was so special about them. Couldn't feel the Divine plan or power. 

Nevertheless, God used them in extraordinary ways- and whether they knew His scheme for mankind or not, I can tell you the common thread that holds this cloth together:

They lived with purpose. 

These single years are not to waste your time by. They are not to be complained over, or spent idly. They are not to be spent working a 9-5 job with no reason other than the opportunity arose so you took it. They are not to be spent investing so much in yourself and a world that revolves around you that you are unable to invest in others. They are not to be spent wishing for a new season, or the next big thing, or planning your imaginary wedding. They are not to be spent pitying yourself because your life isn't like so-and-so, or fostering the pity of others. 

Life is so much more than that. 

These years are a gift given for a purpose by the Hand of God. Everything you touch, everything you plan, should be seen through Kingdom lenses. Once you view everything with purpose, with passion, with eyes for the Kingdom, there is little free time left because there's so many possibilities and not enough time. 

You have been given an incredible gift and opportunity. 

God has you here as a single woman because you are more effective for the Kingdom as such. He has you here, with the time you have, to reach out to others. He wants you to minister to the lost and the lonely, to pour into your friends and family. He wants you to serve and to sing, to rejoice in His love and to love others because of your love for Him. He wants you to give and to not take for granted the life He's given or to scorn the plan He has. 

Don't let this season slip on by. 

I understand, everyone's situation is different. But if you have a choice, choose the one that makes a difference for the Kingdom. Don't spend these years building your own kingdom, feeding your selfish desires. Don't spend these years with mindless schedules, running the American rat-race because you couldn't think of anything better to do. Don't rush through to get to the next season, numb to the beauty that is around you today. 

Make a difference- a true difference- with purpose and intention. 

I hope you take your younger friends out for coffee and listen to their dreams and heart. I hope you spend time laughing around the dinner table with your family and being connected to their lives. I hope you sit down and write letters to those who are lonely, and that you take a meal to your neighbor. I hope you nanny for a family in your congregation and that you pursue entrepreneurial endeavors that are in tune with your passions. I hope you lose yourself in prayer and studying Scripture for hours. I hope you meet the needs of others and work with eager hands. I hope you have eyes for the Kingdom and see opportunities everywhere. 

I hope you live fully alive- thriving and overflowing with the joy of the Lord. 

Make your choices with purpose, with passion. 

If this was your last year to be single- how would you spend it? 

Have no regrets- and may He say of you, "Well done, good and faithful servant."

Singleness Series // Part One // Made for More than Typical

Last week, a friend asked for my thoughts on being single- specifically, what should she be doing with the extra time she has. It's a heavy question that all single young women ask, and if you're like me, you probably receive a multitude of answers in a very wide range of beliefs.

It makes the uncomplicated...complicated. 

Some say get a job. Other say date around. The ultra conservative ones say you should stay home and bake all day, and you should never look at or speak to a guy. The fence-sitters say get a local job and just put your toes in both worlds to feel out your beliefs.

If we're honest, everyone's advice (along with their mother's) is just not helpful. 

So when my friend asks this question, so many things run through my mind. There's so many different answers I could give, politically correct ones and those that are not, but truly the only one I want to give is the one I speak from my heart.

I get her- because I'm right where she is, too. 

I hear everyone's advice and input as they clamor to be right. I know what it's like to be the last one left at home, without little siblings to look after. I know what it's like to be an age far older than you thought you'd be while still unmarried. I've felt the shame people place on my shoulders along with- the worst of all- pity.

I have no reason to be pitied- and neither do you. 

Your life doesn't start once you say "I do"- it started the day you were born, the day God wove within your soul grand adventures and plans for you to fulfill. It pulses with the talents and gifts He's given you, just waiting to be tapped into to color your world and bless those around you.

If we're honest, we all wonder why He has us still here as single women. We wonder why it's taken so long, why our well-laid out plans lie crumpled on the floor. It seems He's testing the strength of our starch- whether or not we'll still stand tall. Unfortunately, some don't- they lose hope and succumb to being numb, living a typical American life, void of passion.

You were not made to succumb to typical. 

Let me tell you- the reason you are single is not because God is "still working on your husband".

(Can I pause here and say how much I can't stand that phrase?! Like, really- is my husband some caveman heathen? Because it shouldn't take this long, and that's just a really dismal thought!)

(okay, thank you for that release of steam- now back to original train of thought)

You are not single because of circumstances outside your control or because you are not refined enough. You are not single because your husband hasn't showed up on the scene or- God forbid- he truly is a heathen.

The reason is because you are more effective for the Kingdom in this season as a single woman. 

The reason is because God wants to bless you for your good in this season.

He is not withholding better things down the road- He truly has blessing for you. 

I want to tell you how to seize these moments, to embrace these blessings, to savor these opportunities. I want to tell you how I've found joy and purpose and passion where God has me- and how you can have the same, too.

There are so many things I want to share, so many things on my heart. I hope you stick around for a little series as I share my thoughts over the next few weeks- and I pray it sheds more light on your path, giving you great ideas and honing your vision. Stay tuned!

The Prayer Journey // Prayer Journaling Made Simple

Part One // Part Two // Part Three 

I am so excited for today's post, because I love practical application and sharing different ideas! Prayer journaling has been something I've always struggled with. In years past, I've started several prayer notebooks, but I never kept up on them. They felt too...structured. Intimidating. At times, even discouraging.

It just wasn't me. 

I'm someone who likes to see results, and to list all my prayer requests in a row just seemed deflating. Not that God doesn't work, but it just felt like a list of wants- even if it was on behalf of other people.

It was more like a record book of what God did rather than a living relationship, a breathing communication. 

After many years of trial and error, I finally found a system that works for me- and today I'm going to get really practical, open, and share what my tools look like. If you've struggled with keeping prayer notebook before, I hope this will inspire you to try again until you find something that works for you! Once you find something that works for your specific personality, it's really not that hard. 

I encouraged you in my last post to look for a perfect notebook to make into your own prayer notebook. This, is mine:

I was gifted this faux leather journal and as soon as I felt its cover I knew I wanted to use it for prayers. Using scrapbook paper and washi tape, I sectioned it off into different categories- family, friends, nations, self, husband, plans, praise, etc. Within each category, I either copied out prayers that I really loved from Scripture/biographies, or I wrote out my own prayers (I talked about liturgy HERE). The prayers I wrote out were my own "liturgy"- things that I want to make sure I pray for, and points that act as a springboard to pray for more. For example, if I have a friend who is sick, I can turn to the prayer I wrote out specifically for sick friends. As I pray through the words I've written, different things will come to my mind, and I'll pause to pray those things as well. It causes me to become specific and bold in praying, instead of simply asking, "Lord, please heal this person".

In other words, my written prayers become my go-to battle plans. 

Side note: for any young woman who has struggled to be faithful in praying for her future husband- this is an amazing tool. Writing out a prayer with specific points helps keep your mind focused on the spiritual battle! 

Another side note: writing out prayers for yourself is so powerful and keeps you accountable! Listing character traits you need to work on and reading them on paper instead of thinking of them in your mind brings it to a whole different level. 

To summarize- I have someone specific in mind that I want to pray for. I go to whatever section that person would be under and use a prayer there that is fitting to the circumstance. As I pray these powerful, precise words, different thoughts will come to my head and I'll pause within the sentences to pray for these things as well. 

So, I have my prayer notebook, but it's more general prayers in the sense that I can put anyone's name in if that particular category/situation is appropriate. I don't have specific needs written out, other than I do have names of friends underneath some prayers in my friend category. But as far as praying for other people outside of my family, my prayer notebook usually isn't used for them. 

Thus, I have my photo prayer book. 

It's just a simple photo album, with photos of friends who I want to be faithful in praying for. On the back of each photo, I have narrow sticky notes with different prayer points for that particular family/friend. This way, I can add or subtract points as the situation changes, keeping everything neat and tidy. During my prayer time, I can either pray for that person as I flip through the pictures, or I can pull the card out and pray specific points. I can also draw out one card each day and commit to praying for that person all day. For me, pictures keep me much more involved rather than just a name across a page. Seeing their faces keeps me accountable in praying faithfully!

As much as I'd love a picture of everyone (that's pretty much a hint to flood my inbox with your pictures so I can pray for you- win-win, right?), there are people who I don't have their picture. For these people, I have an empty slot that I simply put in sticky note strips with that person's name and specific request. I can see them all at a glance, or I can pull them out one by one. 

See? Not hard at all. 

To recap, I use my prayer notebook for specific prayers/liturgy/soundboard praying, and I use my photo prayer book for friends/friends' prayer requests. 

Lastly, during my prayer time, I also write out my prayers in my personal journal. I've found that- again- my prayers are more focused if I write out my prayers instead of just praying them in my head.  As I listen to worship music, I will write out what's on my heart and what I'm facing or struggling with on paper in my personal journal. There's no separate journal for this to make it feel professional or stiff- it's just pouring my prayer in ink just like I would share about an experience I had or a lesson I learned. So, after I've used my prayer notebook and photo prayer book, if there's anything I want to talk to God about my week or feelings of my soul or needs for provision or life in general, I'll write out a prayer in my journal. These are really my heart-prayers, the ones where I ask for guidance for specific situations that I face that week. They're honest, vulnerable, down-to-earth. They're "right now" prayers, not necessarily ones I go back and pray again because they're very specific to my life at that particular moment. 

They're prayers communing with not just my Heavenly Father, not just my King- but my Best Friend. 

And truly, it's the same He wants from you, too. Don't let fear of prayer, or of fasting, or of liturgy, or of journaling keep you from seeking after Him with all that you are. It's okay to have trial and error, to figure out what works and what doesn't. But keep at it. Each step, no matter how wobbly, is one more closer to a more confident you who takes bold steps of faith even when they feel scary.

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I really hope this was able to inspire and encourage you- the Father longs to hear from you, and hopefully this will begin your own prayer journey deeper to the center of His heart! If you start a prayer journal (or already have one that works for you!) I would love to hear about it- drop me a comment and share your testimony! 

The Prayer Journey // The Beauty of Liturgy

// PART ONE // PART TWO //

If I'm honest, I'd tell you that liturgical prayers used to scare me. From past church experiences, they were looked upon as almost unholy to pray because it wasn't your own words from your heart. 

I wish I had learned the truth of the beauty of liturgy years ago. 

Instead of fumbling through trying to express what's on my heart, if I had understood the sweetness and simplicity of reading a prayer- and then making it my own- it would have taken my prayer journey farther, much more quickly. 

Don't let liturgy scare you like I allowed it to scare me. 

I shared here how part of the challenge my brother and I did was to pray for 30 minutes every morning. We used a prayer book to start off with and then closed with our own prayers for the day. Every morning I knew exactly what I would pray, what I would add. It was special knowing that although in our separate rooms, my brother and I were joining together in unity, praying for the same things. It wasn't a time of trying to fill the air with stumbling words- it was filled with words with precise purpose. 

And truly, who wants to come bumbling and mumbling before a King?

I also challenged you to go through Scripture, find prayers that were spoken by holy men and women, and to make those prayers your own. For example, taking Ephesians 3:14-21 and replacing "you" with the name of the person you're praying for. This, too, is "liturgy" in its own right- powerful, purposeful, precise. 

There is something beautiful and powerful in praying the prayers spoken by holy men and women of old.

Can you imagine if we all began praying prayers like this? If we started praying back Scripture, reminding God of His promises and praising Him for His faithfulness? 

What would happen if we weren't afraid to pray bold prayers? 

Maybe you're just starting out on this deeper prayer journey. Maybe the words come slow, or not at all. Or maybe you've always prayed but it's become a ritual that needs to be sparked into a holy flame again. Maybe you've always shied away from liturgy and didn't know where to start. 

It's okay to join in and pray bold prayers from saints gone before. 

It may just be the spark you need to set your prayer life into a brilliant blaze. 

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This week, be intentional to incorporate liturgy into your prayers. Pray back Scripture, use a prayer book- or even search Pinterest for prayer quotes from missionaries or Kingdom-minded authors. Also, be on the lookout for a perfect notebook to copy these prayers into one convenient place that's easy to use. I know prayer notebooks can seem intimidating and confusing- they always were for me!- so next week I'll share a glimpse into what I've found to work the best.

Dear Girl // Feeling Like a Failure

To the Girl who feels like a Failure-

I am so sorry. So sorry that you feel like you can't juggle life and work and play and keep up with everyone you need to. So sorry you feel used and drained and like you never give enough.

But let me tell you- you are enough. 

You are not your status quo. You are not other people's expectations, or even your own. You are a real, beautiful, wonderful girl living a real, beautiful, wonderful life that sometimes gets chaotic and messy and painful. And that's okay- life is messy. 

If your friends can't understand that, it's okay too. 

Friendships are always evolving as different seasons come around. They're not always going to look the same way as they did when you were 16. Friendship is a beautiful balance of give-and-take, a constant display of grace and forgivingness and unconditional love. They aren't created to be guilt traps, but rather safe places to encourage your soul. 

So when the seasons change, Girl, don't let it get you down. There is no shame in living your life and only being able to send out one text a week instead of twenty, no shame in making a 15 minute phone call where in years past it may have been an hour and a half. 

You're still connecting. Still reaching out. Still investing in your friends.

Take it in stride, girl. Be confident in who you are, and don't feel shamed about the life God has given you. You do your work to the best of your ability, and when you have that extra minute, use it to spill encouragement over to your friends. 

And if that extra minute doesn't come, it does not mean you're a failure. 

Maybe you're like me, Girl. Maybe you're in the middle of classes and swimming in information overload, with whacky schedules and trying to fit everything into your week. 

If you are, I hope you have friends like mine. 

I felt like a failure, too, trying to keep up with all I was learning and all I had to do and I didn't have time for much extra. I'm sure it offended some friends that I wasn't able to respond to texts, wasn't able to pick up the phone and catch up. 

But there were other friends who showed up- in glorious, unconditional ways. 

They sent me letters- long letters, encouraging letters, letters that never said "I hope I hear from you soon" or "I hope things slow down for you". They were letters that had no expectations, no strings attached. They were letters that said, "I'm thinking of you and praying for you, and I want you to know I understand." They were letters that said, "You can do this!"  They sent me texts knowing full well that I may not be able to respond until two days later, but they never let the time lapse put a question on our friendship. They prayed for me and understood- because these busy seasons don't last forever, and they weren't going to go anywhere in the meantime. 

Those friends, Girl- those friends are treasures. 

You are an amazing person, an amazing friend. Don't let pressure of expectations force you to pull away and hide. You have a beautiful heart to offer, encouraging words to share. Don't let past words pull you down or make you feel like you can't measure up to what others expect of you. 

You shine, Girl. You go out there and shine. 

Be that unconditional friend, that one who gives grace. The one who sends the "I'm thinking of you and wanted you to know that I care" texts, and if that person doesn't respond right away- give the benefit of the doubt. Life happens to everyone, but it doesn't mean that they don't care about you anymore. Be faithful, Girl, and just keep loving- loving others, and loving yourself. 

Give both your friends- and yourself- some grace. 

You both are awesome, with your own unique quirks and personalities and schedules. You may be different- different seasons, different schedules, different emotions- but that is not a bad thing:

That's what makes friendships beautiful. 

The Prayer Journey // Fasting in Hunger for More

// Read Part One HERE //

In the journey of prayer, what takes you from simply saying words, to engaging with your whole heart? What kindles the fire in your soul, a yearning for the Kingdom that won't be satisfied until you see the restoration? 

What changes a struggling five minute prayer into hours spent before the throne, not wanting your time interceding to come to an end? 

Last week, I shared how important dedication is. In anything, if you want to master something you have to be dedicated in learning and investing time to that skill. It's no different with prayer. We can all say how we want to become closer to God, but unless we do something it's not going to change overnight. 

You may want a thriving prayer life- but what are you going to do about it? 

Many people find themselves at this crossroad, some without even knowing it. I didn't know I was there myself, until a couple years ago a friend of ours challenged my younger brother to spending 90 days seeking God like he never had before. He suggested fasting from all media, getting rid of smart phones, purging books and music. For a family who has pretty high standards when it comes to media, it didn't seem like too hard of a challenge- until he also asked that my brother would fast once a week and spend at least 30 minutes praying every morning. 

30 minutes. 

I joined in simply because I wanted to support my brother on his journey deeper to the Father's heart. I had no personal motives other than to help him stay accountable- and I had no clue the impact it would have in my own life. 

Fasting was an incredibly difficult thing to do for me. If I don't eat, my blood sugar drops, I get lightheaded, and my reaction time slows considerably. And now here I was, about to fast every week for the next 90 days. The first few weeks were torture- I'd barely make it to 4pm before I would end up eating. I wanted to give up, but it's amazing having accountability. If my brother could do this, I could too. As each week went by, I learned when my body would need to have a sip of juice in order to keep going and at what times I needed to be in prayer in order to keep focused. 

It was a journey, crying out for more of God and less of me. 

But that was only the fasting part- prayer was an even bigger mountain to climb. 

During our weekly fast day, we were supposed to take 30-60 minutes to pray in the afternoon. I will never forget my first few weeks of fasting. I'd go into my room in the afternoon to pray, sit on my floor and not know where to start. I'd read Scripture, listen to worship music, and pray...and then look in horror to see that it had only been 15 minutes. I was frustrated at how time dragged by and how I just couldn't seem to keep my attention. 

Yet I was determined- I would learn to enter in. 

I tried many things and slowly found what worked best for me. I'd listen to worship music and let that begin to direct my prayers. I'd write my prayers out in my journal so that I'd stay focused on every word. I'd read Scripture and pray the verses back to Him, changing it to make it personal. Soon, 15 minutes stretched to 30 and then into 50. Eventually it wasn't a chore or something I didn't know what to do with. While before it seemed void of emotion, now I was overwhelmed with who God was and who I was not. I would cry before the Lord over the things I was facing that week that burdened me, I would cry in repentance and in longing of heart. I would laugh with joy as a lyric or a verse would come, almost in response to what I was praying about. And, at times I would just be still before Him- soaking in His presence without a word. 

I began to lose track of time. 

Instead of feeling like I had too much time to fill, I began to feel like I didn't have enough. Soon I'd hear the family call for dinner and feel like I'd barely had time to pray. It was more than a beautiful change, it was the blossoming of a rich and vibrant relationship with the Creator of the Universe in a way I had never experienced before. 

If you do something with all your strength, your heart and emotions will follow. 

Somehow the 90 days went from dragging by to being over in a second. My brother and I had found a treasure we didn't know was missing from our lives, and we decided to take it beyond the 90 days- and I haven't stopped since. Each week, my prayer and fasting day is the one I look forward to the most. My soul craves it just as much as it craves the sabbath. It's my day to quiet my soul before the Lord, to intercede for people I know, to seek guidance for my week. It's one thing to pray every day, but it's another to fast in total dedication to seeking the Father's will. 

Whenever people tell me how they want to develop a deeper prayer life, I always suggest this same challenge. Yes, it starts out hard. Yes, it takes work and dedication. 

But be prepared to go deeper into the heart of God like you never have before.