Faith // Flood Me

Faith. 

When plan A goes right past plans B and C and on through plan W and we still don't know what we're doing, when we're doing the things He asks us to and yet we're not completely sure why, when you're walking downtown and you don't just see "the homeless"- you see their faces and you hear their voices and would you still have the faith to proclaim the name of Yehovah and speak of His goodness as that man did today when I walked in the park? Would I?

Faith. 

When you're jumping elevators trying to climb to the 22nd floor, when you wonder why drawing near to God couldn't be this easy too, when you're overlooking this vast city and feel so small towering high above the stadiums and hospitals and high rises, when you feel even more insignificant knowing that all this, this is no more than mere specs in the palm of the Creator, and how can we ever feel like we're truly somebody?

Faith.

When you sit up there and wait for the sun to set and never doubt that it will, when you're standing this tall above the world and never question that the floor won't slip out from under you, when you have the courage to let your heart spill- through music, through conversation, through a life lived without reservations- or will you just hold it all inside from fear of the unknowns?

Faith.

When the cancer patients gather here, when they emerge from their rooms to watch this glorious glow of fire, when you know that some must wonder if this sunset will be their last, when you listen in the silent hush to the two cancer patients behind you as they encourage one another to believe His promises, that He's always been enough, and how many times a day do I doubt His sovereignty in my perfect little world? In things so petty?

Faith.

When you're talking to the 36 year old woman who has only known since last June that cancer is wrapping itself around her body and engulfing her liver, when you listen to her say that she still believes in miracles as she sits there with feet tucked up underneath her and more monitors on the pole than I've ever seen before, when you see her beautiful face and yet your stomach is sick because why do these things happen? And how can she keep this faith aflame?

Faith.

When you're angry because you just can't fix all these problems, when you pray and the words come stumbling out, when the head hits the pillow and sleep finally falls- and now here goes the fire alarm, and we all go crazy out the door, and what are the most important things to grab? What do you grab in 10 seconds without your mind thinking? Adrenaline soaring?

Faith. God, flood me to overflowing. 

Faith and trust. They go hand in hand. So God, give me the faith to trust You, and the trust to have faith in You...come what may, day by day, for You, You alone, are more than enough for all my needs.

(tomorrow we say our goodbyes to Texas and head back home. prayer appreciated! and don't just keep Ryan in your prayers- keep 36 year old Kelly there, too.)