Dear Girl // Feeling Like a Failure

To the Girl who feels like a Failure-

I am so sorry. So sorry that you feel like you can't juggle life and work and play and keep up with everyone you need to. So sorry you feel used and drained and like you never give enough.

But let me tell you- you are enough. 

You are not your status quo. You are not other people's expectations, or even your own. You are a real, beautiful, wonderful girl living a real, beautiful, wonderful life that sometimes gets chaotic and messy and painful. And that's okay- life is messy. 

If your friends can't understand that, it's okay too. 

Friendships are always evolving as different seasons come around. They're not always going to look the same way as they did when you were 16. Friendship is a beautiful balance of give-and-take, a constant display of grace and forgivingness and unconditional love. They aren't created to be guilt traps, but rather safe places to encourage your soul. 

So when the seasons change, Girl, don't let it get you down. There is no shame in living your life and only being able to send out one text a week instead of twenty, no shame in making a 15 minute phone call where in years past it may have been an hour and a half. 

You're still connecting. Still reaching out. Still investing in your friends.

Take it in stride, girl. Be confident in who you are, and don't feel shamed about the life God has given you. You do your work to the best of your ability, and when you have that extra minute, use it to spill encouragement over to your friends. 

And if that extra minute doesn't come, it does not mean you're a failure. 

Maybe you're like me, Girl. Maybe you're in the middle of classes and swimming in information overload, with whacky schedules and trying to fit everything into your week. 

If you are, I hope you have friends like mine. 

I felt like a failure, too, trying to keep up with all I was learning and all I had to do and I didn't have time for much extra. I'm sure it offended some friends that I wasn't able to respond to texts, wasn't able to pick up the phone and catch up. 

But there were other friends who showed up- in glorious, unconditional ways. 

They sent me letters- long letters, encouraging letters, letters that never said "I hope I hear from you soon" or "I hope things slow down for you". They were letters that had no expectations, no strings attached. They were letters that said, "I'm thinking of you and praying for you, and I want you to know I understand." They were letters that said, "You can do this!"  They sent me texts knowing full well that I may not be able to respond until two days later, but they never let the time lapse put a question on our friendship. They prayed for me and understood- because these busy seasons don't last forever, and they weren't going to go anywhere in the meantime. 

Those friends, Girl- those friends are treasures. 

You are an amazing person, an amazing friend. Don't let pressure of expectations force you to pull away and hide. You have a beautiful heart to offer, encouraging words to share. Don't let past words pull you down or make you feel like you can't measure up to what others expect of you. 

You shine, Girl. You go out there and shine. 

Be that unconditional friend, that one who gives grace. The one who sends the "I'm thinking of you and wanted you to know that I care" texts, and if that person doesn't respond right away- give the benefit of the doubt. Life happens to everyone, but it doesn't mean that they don't care about you anymore. Be faithful, Girl, and just keep loving- loving others, and loving yourself. 

Give both your friends- and yourself- some grace. 

You both are awesome, with your own unique quirks and personalities and schedules. You may be different- different seasons, different schedules, different emotions- but that is not a bad thing:

That's what makes friendships beautiful.