Personal // Girl Of My Heart

Precious Girl-

Oh girl of my heart, we're so much alike. I look at you, and I see me. 

And I'll say, sometimes it scares me. 

Scares me to think of all the struggles you'll go through, the lies you'll believe, the huge challenges you'll need to overcome. You'll have your fair share of tears and drama and heartache and depression. You'll fight to understand who you are, with ADD and a broken family and insecurity thinking you're at the bottom of the barrel.

And how I wish I could just hold you close. Make the ugly world hide its face. Open your eyes to see the truth and to stand up against the lies.

Ten years apart, you and me, but let me tell you, this aunt of yours still remembers what it was like to be your age. Plain as day. And your Mimi could recall countless tales of your ol' aunt sobbing in bed, thinking the world will end because the acne won't go away, friends shattering my world with their careless words and actions, comparing myself to girls prettier and smarter and skinnier until I could never measure up. 

It's a joy-stealer, darling one. Comparison will rob you blind. 

You are you. Beautiful, unique, amazingly wonderful you. You're the size you are, freckled the way you are, your hair straight and thick the way it is, all because God crafted you the way you are...because it gave Him pleasure. Every part of you, from the crown of your head to the soles of your feet, was crafted specifically and purposefully to give glory and honor to your Creator. Don't mar the beauty He's given you, precious girl, just because the world says you need to be different. Don't compare, girl- because there is nothing and no one to compare yourself to. There's no one in the world who could come close to who you are- because God only created one of you. Take it from your ol' aunt- starving yourself to fit into someone else's size, dressing to appease fashions and trends, cutting your hair and coloring it do look like someone on the screen...it will never bring you happiness or the confidence you seek. 

Never. Ever ever. Looking outside of yourself, you will never see who God has created you to be- and that is where the happiness and confidence is found. In Him. In who He created you to be. 

God has beautiful, unique, amazingly wonderful plans for your one-of-a-kind life. No one else can fill that place, girl. No one else can do what He has placed you on this earth to do. It may never be rescuing orphans in India, cleaning the slums of Haiti, or traveling the world on a book tour. It may just be the little things. Caring for your brothers and sisters. Being faithful to stand for Truth even though you stand alone. Reaching out to the unpopular girl at co-op who sits in the corner- unpopular because the popular ones deemed her the wrong size, wrong color, or wrong style. 

 It may be little things, but believe me, He's got plans for you- and you're going to be a world-changer if you're faithful. 

You're not a mistake, girl of my heart. Your quirks and personalities are given as a gift- ADD, family history, and all. Yes, it will take years for you to grow into them and be confident in what God has given you. Your aunt still doesn't have it down herself- and that's okay. But girl, you know what? We can grow together to reach the highest heights when we embrace these giftings and let God have His perfect way in our messy, broken lives. 

You're not my baby girl anymore. You're on the fast-track to becoming a woman. Life gets more complicated every day, but promise me, darling- promise me you'll open your Bible every day and let the Truth seep into your soul, into the wounds and confusion and drama that life throws at you. Cling to your Heavenly Father. He'll never change- He'll be the rock you can stand upon even though the waves are crashing high. He'll be the Father who protects you and loves you and will never let you go. 

I miss you, sweetheart. Desperately.

Last week, I cried all night. My chest grew tight with missing you. Wishing I could hold you in my arms. Go over and babysit you again- and depend on you as my right-hand girl, in the midst of fists flying and bloody noses and everyone demanding they want something different for lunch. To hear you ask your million questions and try to answer them one by one. 

Remember when Ali came, and some of you ran hiding to the boys' bedroom? How we all just piled on the lower bunk, and I held you all close? How we talked and shared and laughed, and when you were ready we went back out- and the world wasn't scary anymore? 

I will always treasure that, dear one- because I know not when we'll be able to do that again. 

But never doubt this, girl of my heart- with every beat of my own, my love for you will always remain. I'm praying for you. Loving you. Missing you. And forever, always here for you. 

I love you,
Sho 
x0x0